So I have no idea where to begin with this whole engagement story.  There are alot of things I’ve been promising meaning to blog about but, alas, this trumps all of that.  I love my blog and I wish so badly I could keep up with it better.  I wish I could work part time and cook, clean, take pictures, and blog the rest of the week.  Those are the things I enjoy the most and I have so little time for them these days.  Okay, sorry, back on track….

 

Eric and I have been talking (daydreaming) about our wedding for a while now.  From the day we “knew” I was sorta planning in my head.  But I also knew that it would take time to save for the ring.  I can’t tell you how many times I wanted to say, “I don’t even really need a ring…not a big one…..really.”  

 

As most of you know, marriage was something that really wasn’t on my radar for a long time. Ha.  But the concept holds so much more meaning for me now than I ever thought it would.  It’s like this…. after a while Eric became SO MUCH MORE to me than just a boyfriend.  There was this person, with whom I had this amazingly deep connection, and I wanted a way to express, to show to others, how much he meant to me…how much I loved him…how serious this was.  We had these common dreams and goals and values…and a dog…and we lived together….he was more than a boyfriend…he was my partner, my soul mate, my other half…all those cheesy things that really sound hokey until you actually find THE person that fits that description!  I began to realize that the petty things I USED to worry about in relationships were now nonexistent – this was different, mature, deeper, more meaningful, more honest and vulnerable, EASIER, calmer.  Those old relationship worries (being lied to, being cheated on, getting hurt, being taken advantage of) seemed so stupid and insignificant…I began to worry about his safety and his happiness.  I started fearing car accidents instead of hot blonde chicks!  It was a deeper understanding, a trust and honesty that I just KNEW was right.  Forever.  Period.  For the first time in my life I knew what it felt like to put someone else’s happiness above my own.  It was a transformative thing for me. 

 

So here we are, 2 years into this whole thing, both wanting so badly to take that next step.  A part of me felt that, maybe, possibly, the proposal was coming soon…but I wasn’t really sure!  Eric made comments many times throughout the past year about how badly he wanted to do it…but there was alot in his way.  I knew that.  And I just felt blessed and lucky to have him….but it didn’t stop me from daydreaming wildly about when he WOULD finally do it 🙂 

 

So I had a birthday recently.  I think God and everybody expected he’d propose on my birthday.  I was a nervous, shaky, sweaty wreck the whole day not knowing if it was coming and trying desperately to stop my imagination from running wild. But the weekend came and went and nothing.  I wasn’t disappointed…I knew the day would come eventually…but I had so expected it so there was alot of emotion with that.  Anyhoo… I later find out that is EXACTLY when he wanted to do it but the ring hadn’t come in yet..haha…so I wasn’t completely crazy! 

 

So last friday rolls around.  It’s a normal day.  I get up, I go to work, work is crazy, I go to the gym, come home, fix dinner, etc.  Eric and I had decided to stay in Friday night because we had such a busy day planned on saturday.  We finished up dinner and I kept asking him what he wanted to do…watch a movie, play some records, empty the DVR? He was all indecisive and said, “well why don’t you go shower and then we’ll decide.”  I immediately knew something was up because it’s a friday night and we’re not going anywhere…he normally wouldn’t care when I shower.  But I guess he didn’t want to propose with me still in my sweaty gym clothes!  Other odd things…he normally comes in and opens a beer on friday afternoons…I was shocked that he was drinking a diet coke when it was 100 degrees outside and we didn’t have plans to go anywhere.  He normally would have had a beer.  Also, he was not on his computer downloading music or playing in iTunes like he normally would be when I got home.  Just little things that he normally would’ve been doing on any normal lazy friday night.  I’m sure my overactive, anxious, proposal-seeking brain was LOOKING for oddities…but whatever 🙂

 

So I get up and get in the shower and my thoughts start running wild.  I kept audibly saying to myself… “stop doing this…you’ll be disappointed if nothing is going on…chill out..take deep breaths…just let it happen…” but of course my brain did not listen.  

 

[on a side note…I’ve always known I was a little…anxious…and that I had a very overactive brain…but GOOD GOD…it’s been in overdr
ive with all of this.  Maybe I should see someone about that…ha!!!]

 

Okay moving on…so I’m in the shower, having this talk with myself, trying not to freak out.  I finish my shower, turn off the water, peel back the shower curtain….and there I see….a card…sitting on the counter.  My knees buckled…my heart started racing and I just kept saying to myself… “oh my god, this is it, this is IT.”  God my heart is racing now just reliving it.  Ha. So I get out, grab the card and read.  The wording in the card is all about our life, our hearts beating as one, our world… and he underlined the words “our” “shared” “us” …I’m seeing a theme here…. At the bottom of the card he writes: 

 

“I love you with all of me, every breath, every fiber, every thought, every movement…EVERYTHING!” 

 

I finish reading the card and I’m, of course, freaking out.  I get up and go to the door, not knowing what I’m going to find on the other side.  I open it and walk out and the house is dark except for candlelight.  Eric is standing in the hallway.  I say (with a cracking voice, while shaking all over) “thank you for my sweet card….”  He said, “why don’t you go get dressed and come back in here,” (keep in mind I’m in a towel and still dripping wet).  Now, normally, on a lazy friday night, I’d go put on PJ pants and a t-shirt so I look at him like… “what should I put on” and  he says “not PJs, just something casual.”  So the house is dark, I don’t know what’s about to happen…I mean, I have an idea but I’m still doing that thing where I’m trying not to freak out….talking to myself all the way to the closet… “it could just be a romantic night, maybe he’s just being sweet, don’t freak out, don’t freak out, calm down, breathe, don’t pass out….”  I’m shaking and my heart is POUNDING.  POUNDING.  Can I stress that enough?  

 

I look at my t-shirts…and yes…I’m going to admit it…I initially grab an Alabama Crimson Tide t-shirt.  What a great story that would be?  Right?  But I decide I won’t do that to him and I put on an Amos Lee t-shirt and a pair of khaki shorts.  Hair is wet.  Not a stitch of makeup on.  I walk into the living room.  The song I Gotta Know by Jackopierce is playing.  Because they are super meaningful to us, I will include the lyrics here:

 

Well I know that I ain’t right

Show me anything that’s black or white

And I’ll show how good the light might look on you

 

But there’s one thing you’ve got to know

Before this whole thing spins out of control

If you’re with me, then you get me all the way

 

I Gotta Know

That you’re with me

Before I cross that line

You Gotta Know

You’re the one thing I can’t leave behind

 

Well I know that I’ve been bad

I’ve got no answers for the breaks in my past

And I’ve burned more bridges than I’ve stumbled cross

 

Girl there’s one thing you’ve got to know

Before this whole thing spins out of control

If you’re with me, then you get me all the way

 

I Gotta Know

That you’re with me

Before I cross that line

You Gotta Know

You’re the one thing I can’t leave behind

 

I don’t know if you’ve ever been held in love like mine

You’ve got to know you’re the one thing I can’t leave behind

 

I can’t leave behind

 

 

Okay so he grabs me and we slow dance to the song.  The entire time we are dancing I can feel my chest POUNDING against his and I’m shaking and I’m sorta embarrassed because I know he feels it and I just want to relax and enjoy it.  The song finishes and he says something along the lines of  “I don’t know if I could tell you the exact moment that I knew that I loved you, but as soon as I knew it, I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you…[picks up iPhone]…..I have a do-list in my phone…and I put something on it a long time ago…other things have been on the list and they have all been checked off, but there’s one thing left …and it’s not time to check it off just yet…but I want you to see what it is…”  And he hands me the phone to click on the list to open it up…I’m shaking so bad I almost click on the wrong thing…I click …there’s only 1 thing on the list…it was entered a year and a half ago….and it says 

 

LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER WITH KATIE! 

 

…then he slowly gets down on one knee and pulls out a ring box, opens it and look up and says “will you be my happily ever after?”  I started crying, he started crying, I just grabbed him and we stood there for what seems like forever before I even looked down at the ring.  It was perfect.  I started to feel like I was going to faint for a minute so I sat down.  I just couldn’t believe it had finally happened…all the emotion leading up to it…I couldn’t believe it was real.  I don’t think my heart stopped pounding until the next day.  And even then…every time I told the story I got all flustered again.  We sat down and talked for a bit, cried some more, listened to music…just took in the moment.  I’m glad it happened the way it did.  It wasn’t a big event, I wasn’t all dressed up, I wasn’t expecting it…at all.  I love that it was here, I love that it was intimate and special and there weren’t alot of people around.  I love that it was just us. (I also love that the iPhone was incorporated…being the dorks we are!  LOL!  And that he used a Jackopierce song!) 

 

So that’s the story folks.  With all the obsessive dot-dot-dot-ing and ridiculous amount of detail that only I can give you! 🙂 I am thrilled to start this next phase of our life together.  We have a very clear vision for what we want on our wedding day and what we want the overall feel to be…but I won’t give away any surprises here!  I would like to say, for the record, that Eric and I talk alot about, not only the kind of wedding we want, but what we want our marriage to be like.  I think that’s one of the reasons we work so well together…that and our AWESOME communication skills!!!! Booyah!!!!!  But seriously, our commitment to each other, our marriage, our connection, our communication…these things are our number 1 priority and I think that’s why we work so well!  

 

On that note I’m gonna wrap it up…the last thing you all need is me telling you, for the zillionth time, how much I love Eric!!!