I have never loved running as much as I do at this point in my life.  I have been a runner for a few years now but I feel like I'm finally at the point that I can take myself seriously doing it.  My legs are finally really strong (thanks mostly to BodyPump...woot woot!!!) and I'm having less injuries.  I'm also finally at a weight that I'm okay with and I feel "lighter" on my feet I guess you could say.  But most of all, it's where I run and the scenery I take in on those runs that makes it so meaningful to me.  You see things on foot that you don't see from a car...you notice things and you take in the sounds and smells of it all... 

 

I love that it's that time of year that I have to dodge toddlers being pulled in red wagons on the sidewalk (happened twice today)!  I see lemonade stands, fathers and sons playing catch, mothers pushing strollers, sidewalk chalk masterpieces...  I've learned people's dogs and kids...I know that the blond headed boy down the street wants a Jack Russell and his parents are big Texas fans...he also does alot of sidewalk chalking!  I pick up the newspaper on almost every run and put it atop a set of steep front steps where an elderly woman lives.  She once asked me for help when I was jogging past ...and she said Emmett looked "handsome and regal!!!"  I like the thought of her opening her door and her newspaper being there waiting for her....without having to struggle with those stairs and bending over.  She probably doesn't remember me (it was over a year ago that she stopped me for help) and it doesn't matter.  It makes me feel good.  I love watching things change...additions and improvements to my favorite houses, pink and blue bows put up on front doors :)   I guess this is alot less about running specifically but these are things I wouldn't know if I wasn't constantly out running past these people and places and things.  Experiencing my surroundings in this way helps me feel more connected to it...more rooted there.  I feel like I belong there. 

 

Running makes me feel strong...something about saying "I ran 6 (or 7 or 8) miles today" makes me feel accomplished and proud.  But running also makes me feel more connected to nature.  I guess it's like I said before...when you are on foot and out of the car, you become more a part of everything around you.  It feels more primitive..like going back to a place where all we had to get around were our two legs.  Perhaps this is just the endorphins talking!  I don't know.  But anyway...I feel people have become too cut off from those around them...with our schedules and jobs and nightly lineup of tv shows.  But getting out and walking or jogging keeps you engaged with those around you.  Trust me...I know the "isolators" in my neighborhood.  I've lived there 2 years and I can count on one hand how many times I've seen them.  They can't be happy people ...

 

I also laugh at myself because I probably look like some sort of tech-geek-in-laces" -- ridiculously large 5th gen iPod on upper right arm, BodyBugg on upper left, BodyBugg display and left wrist, Road ID wristband on right wrist....and house key tied to my right shoe laces.  But at least I don't wear one of those stupid running belts with the water bottles and other attachments.  It's like the athletic, nerdy cousin to the fanny pack.  If I need water I stop at V. Richard's and hit the water fountain. 

 

I also love when I go on vacation and I get to take in some foreign city on foot...discover neat buildings and out of the way places....  But to me, there is nothing worse than running on a track or around a park, over and over, or in some neighborhood where all the houses are identical.  To me, that's no better than the treadmill.  Give me a destination, give me a city and sidewalks and life that's constantly on the move.  Ah...I love it!

 

So I guess my point is that running is great.  And I have some nerdy spiritual connection to it.  I just thought I'd share.  :)

 

I'm not a person who likes change.  I typically like to keep my world neat, orderly and controlled. When things veer off of the path I had intended, I tend to feel lost and anxious.  Years of  therapy have helped me gain insight into my need for such control, and I like to believe I'm much more flexible that I once was...but it still rattles me when things don't go as planned.  This is true for all aspects of my life.  Recently my life has done alot of "veering" and I'm beginning to emerge on the other side and it's not looking like such a bad thing after all.  You know how when life throws you a curve ball people tend to say "Everything happens for a reason," "you don't understand this now but you will" or "you'll be stronger after all this is over" ...or even the oldies "time heals everything" and "you're better off."    I've realized those sayings are mainstays of our proverbial pep talk for a reason...they are true.  So true.  It seems my life has taken many twists and turns over the years that alot of people, especially myself, didn't quite understand.  But looking back now...at all of the chaos and crises...I'm able to see how each led me exactly where I was intended to be...or led me to something that would eventually better my life in some way.  I'll give an example now...

 

I had the honor and privilege of being accepted to The University of the South in Sewanee, Tennessee.  A prestigious, private, liberal arts university.  I went, I stayed a semester, I left.  I couldn't even tell you what reason I gave myself or others for leaving.  It wasn't that I couldn't cut it academically...I just knew it wasn't the right fit for me.  I went next to the University of South Alabama.  Looking back now, my reasons for going there were stupid and immature and could've ended badly...very badly.  But one very good thing came out of my experience there and that was a friendship with a girl who came to be a very big part of my life and, at the time, was dating a guy that went to The University of Montevallo!  I visited Montevallo and instantly knew it was where I was intended to be...beautiful, small, liberal, historic, personal.  I would never have even considered Montevallo in high school...it was too close to home and I wanted as far away from my mother as I could get :/   ...but life has a funny way of leading you back where you belong eventually.  And as most of you know...Montevallo became a big part of my story.  I completed my Bachelors there...went on to get my Masters there...and made friendships there that have been my ROCK for 10 years now.  I won't go on and on with all of the reasons why I love Montevallo or what my experiences there have meant to me...although I could...but I have a bigger point to make....

 

so there's example number 1...why would I leave Sewanee after working so hard to get in...because it wasn't right for me...it wasn't part of my plan. 

 

When I bought the house I live in now, I never intended to live here alone...but here I am and it's okay.  I think it's part of human nature...well at least this human's nature...to always want to have everything figured out, to feel certain we know who we are and where we are going.  And just when I get to a place where I think I know all of that, life throws me a curve ball and then I'm the one getting the pep talk rather than giving it (as is usually the case).  But those times lead to growth in our lives and discovery of our own journey.  They open our eyes to things and humble us a bit.  And after this most recent period of change I would definitely say I have been stunned, surprised, and yes...humbled.  I have learned a great deal about myself and others in the process.  Most importantly I have learned that the values and principles that I live by are precious to me...more so than I realized....and I want to always seek to surround myself with people who also operate on similar values and principles.   

 

Although this house has been a huge source of stress for me lately...I feel it was meant to be mine...and (this might sound hokey), in a way, has become a metaphor for my own growth and change.  It too has alot of history...it has experienced alot of change over the years...some not-so-pretty change...but it's evolving into the best version of itself.  Little by little, piece by piece, we are finding mistakes others have made, making repairs....restoring.  This house, this neighborhood, has given me stability that I have never had.  Every day that I lace up my tennis shoes and head out for a run, I am STILL (even after 2 years here) amazed at how lucky I am.  Yes I need a new roof, yes I had to replace the AC unit, yes the plumbing has some quirks...but I am blessed.  Every house in this neighborhood is unique, has a history all it's own and tells a story.  This area attracts a certain special type of people too...and the friends that I've made here have enriched my life in so many ways...even though they may not even know it.  Perhaps most people don't see things like houses the way I do...and perhaps I've gotten a bit deeper than I intended with this blog..but I suppose my overall point was that I've learned change is good.  Even though, in the midst of it, we fight it...we don't understand it...and unfortunately don't always allow it to run it's course. Too often I think people become so afraid of change, or uncomfortable with it, that they regress and they aren't able to experience growth and change that was intended for their lives.  I see this alot at work and it saddens me. 

 

Sometimes we don't even like to see change in others.  Maybe it's because it forces us to look at things that might need to be changed in our own lives...or it confuses us or messes up the way we make sense of things around us. We don't want to look for deeper meaning behind things when others are changing...we want them to stay the way they are...to fit into the role that made sense for us.  If we can let go of that, I think it will lead to alot less conflict, a greater understanding of eachother, alot less judging and a little more peace.

 

So here I am...on the other side of some big changes.  Some big changes which, at times, I didn't know if I would survive or even knew how to navigate.  But I did in my own way.  This wasn't the first big crisis and it won't be the last. But I've learned some basic things about how to handle change that will make it just a teeny bit easier the next time.  I hope.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I used to think I wanted a pet mouse...when I was a lonely, only child with a workaholic mom.  There was that cheesy movie (Ben) about the lonely boy who befriended a rat...I never saw it but I was a huge Michael Jackson fan at the age of 5 and he did a song for the soundtrack...actually I think the whole album was titled "Ben".  I remember the words...."Ben you're always running here and there...Ben...you feel you're not wanted anywhere."  Well no shit he's not wanted anywhere...he's a damn rat.  Anyhoo, I had it on vinyl and listened alot.  Moving on.  So we had a mouse in our office recently and I was all about catching the mouse humanely and releasing him back into the wild.  I felt bad for the little guy.  Well all of that is in the past.  I have a mouse (or several mice - I'm not sure) that have taken up residence in my house and I'm FREAKED OUT by it.  It all started with these little noises in the night...scratching and tapping and it sounded like it was in the walls.  Then I began waking up in the mornings and there was all this debris around the vents in the floor (insulation, dust, hair, etc)...it was like it was blowing up out of the vents.  I thought it was odd but I just swept it up and moved on.  Then the next morning the same thing...and the next...and then the noises got more and more frequent.  Then I realized I had a critter.  I called Critter Control and they said that mice often chew into ventilation systems ...OOOMMMMMGGG...really?  So I have nasty little mice running around in my ductwork and their nastiness is being circulated into the air I breathe.  WFT? 

So you know how dust bunnies collect under the dryer and the stove and furniture and stuff...places you really can't sweep.  So I would go to bed and the kitchen floor would be spotless and then the next morning I would wake up and go in there and there was all this CRAP in the floor...like dust bunnies and a even a rusty nail.  And I realized the little asshole had been creeping out from behind the appliances and dragging this crap out into the floor.  I would sweep it up and then...the next morning...more crap.  I'm literally freaking out.  In my mind this innocent little mouse has turned into a family of rats...nasty, evil, sneaky rats who come out at night and crawl all over my house while I'm sleeping...and they are secretly plotting against me. 

All of that to say..Critter Control (actually name of the company) comes today and I'm very glad.  For a whomping $250 they will figure out where the mice are getting into the house, set up traps and make any repairs to my ductwork.  Also, they charge a "removal" fee for any mice they catch.  I asked if I set traps and catch them myself do I still have to pay?  haha.  I shall keep you updated since I know you will all be on the edge of your seats.